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6 Reasons Why You Can't Leave a Loser
By Norine Dworkin-McDaniel

You know he’s not Mr. Right. He’s not even Mr. Right Now. So why can’t a smart woman like you ditch the loser? Read on to find out. Plus, are you just not that into him? Rate your relationship with our quiz…
I was in college when an older man asked me out. We went to a concert (nice). Then back to his place (predictable). By morning, I knew the relationship was a non-starter.
But his attention was flattering, and I was between boyfriends. Before I knew it, my one-night event turned into a year-long relationship. He even talked of marriage.
Right then, I should have cut and run. But I’d grown used to his loud, obnoxious behavior. And at least I had a date on Saturday nights.
I didn’t get my complacent butt out of there until he raised his hand to smack me during a disagreement. Though his hand never connected with me, that near-slap was just the push I needed.
Any sign of abuse (physical or emotional) is an obvious deal-breaker. And the same goes for addictions of any stripe (drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, porn). But even without such problems, we often find ourselves spinning our wheels in dead-end relationships. Why do smart women make such foolish choices?
According to relationship experts, here are the 6 most common reasons we stay with men we’re just not that into:

1. My family made me do it.
Blaming your issues on Mom, Dad, your siblings or the dog can get a little tired. But persistently picking Mr. Wrong does have a lot to do with your upbringing, therapists say.
“What happens in the family shapes how we see ourselves in the world, our core beliefs and our behaviors,” says life/relationship coach Lauren Mackler, author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness and Transform Your Life (Hay House). “Then we take those behavior patterns into adulthood.”
So a girl who grew up thinking I don’t deserve love is subconsciously attracted to men who can’t meet her emotional needs. “It doesn’t make her happy, but it’s comfortable because it’s familiar,” Mackler says.
It’s the emotional equivalent of the hamster wheel: You never get the guy, no matter how hard you work. But the thought that you might – if you just hang on a little longer – keeps you in the game.
“Women are willing to deal with long stretches of crap for that momentary approval or affection,” explains clinical psychologist Dennis P. Sugrue, Ph.D., co-author of Sex Matters for Women (Guilford Press). “When it comes – and it’s not often – the attention is almost like oxygen. It means everything.”

2. I won’t find anyone better.
So he’s boorish and overly critical. Breaks dates. Doesn’t call. Plays head games. Forgets your birthday. But he’s all yours. Would it be any different with anyone else?
Hello?!? Someone’s self-esteem needs a transfusion.
Blame this one, too, on a dysfunctional family dynamic.
When a woman is in a relationship with a clear loser, there’s a symbolic agenda playing out, “usually not getting the love and affection of a parent,” Sugrue says. “So when things don’t go well, it becomes easier for her to rationalize it and take the blame for it.”
This settling-for-less pattern is one of the more destructive ways women sabotage themselves in work and in relationships, says clinical psychotherapist Pat Pearson, author of Stop Self-Sabotage: Get Out of Your Own Way to Earn More Money, Improve Your Relationships and Find the Success You Deserve (McGraw Hill).
“If we don’t believe we deserve to have a good relationship, we settle for less than what we could have or truly want,” she says. “We compromise our own integrity.”
We think, Well, it’s better than nothing.

3. I don’t want to be alone.
Then there’s the fear that you’ll end up a lonely spinster. So you hang on longer than you should out of a misguided sense of self-preservation.
Chalk this one up to family issues again, especially if the message you internalized growing up was, “You need a man to take care of you.”
“Fear of being alone is a huge factor that keeps people in bad relationships,” says Mackler, the life/relationship coach. “The underlying message is that you’re not able to take care of yourself.”
So you get into relationships with Mr. Wrong.

4. He’ll change.
Uh-huh. Tell it to the Tooth Fairy. Women have been deluding themselves with this particular fairy tale since cave gals sat around the fire pit, grousing that their men were such Neanderthals.
Don’t bet the farm on him changing in any substantial way. Improving hair and wardrobe is about the best you can do. (Though you might make some headway with the toilet-seat-down thing.)
But serious character flaws? Figure on living with ’em... or leaving him.
“What you see is what you’re going to get,” Sugrue says. “If there is change, consider that to be a gift from heaven. But don’t count on it.”

5. He needs me.
If ever there was a big enough ball to keep you chained to a loser, it’s this one. We love being needed. We eat that up like a chocolate chip hot fudge sundae with a cherry on top.
“Women tend to over-give to people who don’t give as much back,” says Pearson, the clinical psychologist. “We’ve all been taught that we shouldn’t be selfish and to keep on giving even if we don’t get it back.”
We tell ourselves we’re indispensable. Or maybe you do have legitimate worries that if you split, he’d gamble, drink, slide into depression or kill himself.
But what you call “love,” therapists label as “co-dependency,” “enabling,” or “emotional extortion.”
We’re then sucked into unhealthy relationships because “we’re serving in their lives in some way that makes us feel good about ourselves,” explains Michele Sugg, a certified sex therapist in Branford, Conn. “It can be tough to move past the guilt and believe that he’ll make it, that you’re not his only lifeline.”

6. The sex is phenomenal.
That hormonal surge of oxytocin that courses through your brain when you have mind-blowing sex is designed to bond you to your partner. It’s emotional super-glue. But this neuro shemistry can backfire when we bond with the wrong guy.
“Just because it was the best sex you ever had doesn’t mean that this is the best partner for you,” says certified sex therapist and psychologist Stephanie Buehler, Psy.D, of the Buehler Institute for sex therapy in Irvine, Calif.
And if you feel embarrassment or shame about becoming sexual too quickly, you might be tempted “to make a relationship out of the encounter,” Buehler says.
Should You Stay or Go – Now?
These steps can get you thinking – honestly – about the state of your union.

1. Search your soul. Ask yourself these questions, Sugrue says:
# Do I really care about this person or has the relationship become habit?
# Is it easier to stay than make the effort to leave?
# Do I feel like he really cares for me? Or am I doing all the heavy lifting?
# If someone else I’m attracted to is suddenly available and I could get out of my current relationship with no negative consequences, embarrassment, shame or explanations, would it be tempting? If you’re thinking maybe, “that should tell you something,” Sugrue says.

2. Make a list. Works with Christmas gifts and relationships.
“Sometimes it’s helpful to reflect on the things you feel are working in your relationship and the things that aren’t,” Sugg says. “That can help you determine what needs to change for the relationship to feel healthier for you.”
So make like Santa and check your list twice. And talk it over with your guy. Maybe he didn’t realize that openly flirting with other women gets on your nerves. It’s unlikely, but at least you’ve done your due diligence before you walk out.

3. Get online. If you just don’t think you can do any better, click through some online dating sites. You don’t even need to post a profile. Just punch in your zip code and take a look at who’s around. Nice guys! Near you!
It’s the relationship equivalent of window-shopping. Not all these dudes will pony up to ride into the sunset with you. But even if you’re convinced the sea is empty, you’ll see there are plenty of fish out there.


4. Take a break. Absence can make the heart grow fonder... or show you that you’re doing just fine without him. Either way, you get some perspective, Buehler says.

5. Hold off on hooking up. No judgment here. Casual, no-strings-attached sex definitely has its place. However, “It’s important to look at what you’re trying to get when you’re hooking up,” Sugg says.
If you want to meet your dream man and live happily ever after, but all you’re doing is hooking up, “that’s not the way you’re going to form lasting relationships,” Sugg says.

6. Do a reality check. If you worry that ditching an unsatisfying relationship will leave you alone forever, stuck in a singledom apartment, or possibly even destitute, take a deep breath and step back from the ledge.
Therapists call this “awfulizing” or “catastrophizing.” Mackler says you’re playing the Gloom and Doom Movie by imagining the absolute worst-case scenario, and it’s spinning in your mind as reality. So take stock.
“Look at the core beliefs you have about yourself that’s driving this fear,” she says.
Do you actually believe you’ll die without someone to take care of you? What about those friends and family who love you? And don’t you have your own money to pay those bills?
Looks like an apartment full of cats isn’t your destiny after all. And you’re doing pretty well fending for yourself. Soon you’ll get your brain around the idea that you can jump ship if you want to – and land on your feet.
Then you can start thinking about what your new movie will look like, Mackler says. Perhaps the screen will show that you can be happy without a relationship. Or that the next guy you date will appreciate and respect you.
Roll tape…
Are You Just Not That Into Him?
Many people stay in relationships because they are convenient or comfortable. Some men are just meant to be friends. Do you know the difference? Take this quiz and find out whether you're into him or not.




How did you make $25k one day, and $35k on another, just by doing short sales?
By Jim Fleck

Today, my friend Nathan will finally answer the question people have been asking forever...

"How did you make $25k one day, and $35k on another, just by doing short sales?" Have you heard how he does these? He actually "does" very little. If you go to his site, you'll see him making fun of himself in a movie, surrounded by people that do almost everything for him.

And gladly. His team is what makes his business work on automatic. He just signs the papers. That's how he's able to pull off these 5-figure days nearly at will. If you got an autopilot system, then you can pretty much write your own check.

If he wants to make more money this week, he just ups the volume, and more money comes his way. Well, he DOES have to sign a few more papers for those
extra thousands... But look. I've known Nathan for some time. And I know
he's probably the laziest millionaire in the country. So see how he does it right here, in his fr-ee downloadable DVD, go here

Nothing to buy, only solid content. Only one problem... he's taking it down sometime today.
It might already be gone. I hope not, because it explains his whole system, A to Z.

It's not every day a millionaire explains his system in simple terms that even an 8 year old could get.... so you, being ten times that smart, go over there now before he takes it offline.

75,000 Page Views In 10 Minutes!
By Guido Nussbaum



Guy made one million in just one day
By John Paul Raygoza


Enjoy,


He's giving away the store
By Jim Fleck

Nathan Jurewicz has lost his freakin' mind.

The Short Sales Kid is giving away a DVD fr-ee... where he outlines his ENTIRE system for doing short sales fast, easy, and - get this - on automatic! That's right, he hardly lifts a finger, yet closes 10 or more per month.

You can go download the DVD over at this site I promise you're gonna be amazed at the info he's giving away fr-ee of charge.

But you better hurry, because he's taking it down soon... (you'll understand why when you see how hot this info is... He's crazy to give away all these secrets for fr-ee!)